I don’t know what it is about this time of the year, but for some strange reason I always find myself in some sort of conundrum. I mean seriously, why is December soprecious? Lets find out, so we should get started?
With graduation comes great opportunities and advantages. Its comes with disadvantages too. The way to better explain these ‘drums of conuns’ would be to create a poster board mapping out the good, bad, and in between. Like I have a poster board? I’ll do my best to explain it in all 4 of my human phases.
Phase 1: Life After School
The idea when you graduate sounds great, it makes you feel accomplished. You get a title, you get a diploma and to top it all off you get a silly picture of yourself with a hat. Once its all said and done, your ready to be kicked in the balls and thrown out into the work environments. It happens fast, so you must mentally prepare. If you don’t, the sharks will eat you. A lot of people have strategies once they graduate. #1: The Planner: Some might have a job lined up from dad that’s set in a perfect linear line for you to never cross or question, just keep going straight and never look back.#2: The I’m Not Quite Out of College Guy. Some might have a plan to visit good ‘ol Europe and drink more, eat more and fornicate. #3: The I Dont Have a Clue Guy: Some might move back to where they were raised and hang out with mom for a “short” time. #4 The Accomplished Go Getters: Some might just sit around and wait for the job seekers to seek them through these Craigslists. Either way, believe it or not, you have a plan.
My plan was #3. At the time, it was ideal. My roommates and I had different goals and opportunities in life and it was time to tergiversate from that current 3 year trend of seeing their beautiful faces and move forward on a one way path to great success, money transfers, and women. “This is our life, we make these decisions, and no one, not even you, can stop us.” So we moved forward, all different blue prints and luggage. One weaseled his way to The Bay Area, one moved closer to the coast, and I moved back to suburbia with Kristen Nudo, my mom. Now I know what your thinking (LOSER)but before you go on making fun of me, like children you are on the playground, remember this my friends: I am the smart one. I had an opportunity to make money, while living for free, and still being awesome. I took it. Parents get bad reps these days. The silly Facebook and Twitter accounts, the extreme use of the digital cameras, and the constant maintenance to their computing machine, I don’t know how much more I could take. It’s something you have to deal with nowadays, their is no way around it, no way to dismiss it, just accept it and smile.
So far its been good. I work 3 times a week at one company, 2 times a week at another and then freelance my way to the bank during the nights and weekends. I did some pro bono stuff for a friend this past week (who I hadn’t talked to in a while) and I’ve been also keeping busy with personal projects. Speaking of which, lets move to Phase 2, it should be shorter then its predecessor.
Phase 2: My thought process in design
I’ve learned that I took this approach in 2009. I saw a style or trend that I adored and I ran with it. I ran with it as long as I felt comfortable, new, fresh, and I was able to admit or scream, “I have been apart of this!” I did this for both web design (hello vector art) and graphic design/illustration/digital art.
In February, I found a style called Retro Futurism which to me, was ‘awe’ dropping. “My way, your way, any way.” The definition to me is the simplistic’s of design spat with complexity of style or trend in art. Think 80’s, aliens, space, and robots. You can make anything great, you have so many decisions and ways to combine the fundamental geometrics but what it comes down to is how the final product turns out. That’s what counts obviously and what eyes see. So I’m here to say, do your best. This is where the learning curve takes its toll. You have to play and play, then when your done, play some more. Try it drunk. Try it sober. Try it all over. Do what you can, and when you think your finished ask for input. Have somebody rip it apart and then go back to the drawing board.
This is what I did this entire year on my free, FREE time. I didn’t get paid for this, I was trying to better myself and potential. I really dug what I was showing, and I kept seeing things I wanted to emulate and make better. I never took anything for granted, I just hoped it would get better. Some people look at my designs and say, “wow that’s neat” and some don’t give a shit. Either way, I love hearing anything anyone wants to say. It’s special. It motivates to get better and do it as quickly as possible. Nothing is ever complete the way I look at it. Some of the best designs that i did this year, I will be taking a look at before the years end and recreating. One in particular, called “Yes Girl” because I feel like this piece identified me and my designs this year and what I have to come. It was everything I wanted to say about myself that couldn’t be expressed through words. Show me vibrant, elegant designs and give me something to rave about!
Phase 3: A little Personal, Peter
I had a mind set when I got back to Poway to mind my own business and that I would be in San Francisco before I knew it. Not everything pans out perfectly. I met people that I never thought I would. I’ve made new friends. I had a tough November. Though some times are hard, I’ve still managed to open up and I’ve take more steps in this past 2 months then I have in the past 6. I’ve done something different every day, and I’m not willing to say no. I want to keep going and I don’t want to slow down. Not right now, there is too much on the line. You respect that right? If your not doing something, then what are you doing? If you arent progressing your mind, your body?Then what are you doing? Are you challenging yourself? What goals do you have? I think about this constantly and then I think how I can improve each week. Sometimes its slow and it feels as if nothing is going right, but its a challenge. You got to pass it up, to be stronger down the line.
It’s weird when you get out of a relationship. You really get out and feel lost for a bit. You might cover up your emotions through drugs and alcohol, you might take another route and express your feelings through emotion in writing, art or in music. You might just need to hang out with your friends for a bit. I guess you have to find out what way helps you get through that dyer situation. What you never expect right away once your out of a relationship, is the mindset of possibly going back in, with someone different. There will always be girls out there, but what makes you decide that the girl you chose is different then somebody you might just want to be infatuated or interested in? What do you like? Do you like the idea of that person, or do you genuinely like their smile, scent or laugh? Whats the difference? In short, the difference comes down to how you feel about the person when your around them. The comfortability factor. My advice to give, is you know when you know. I think I might know.
Phase 4: The conclusion in which I go forward
Look I’m not a good writer, sometimes I just feel writing and this is what you get. It’s not grammatically correct, the spellings off, and I dont makes no sense most of the time, but you can’t deny your brain hasn’t opened up to the idea, of some of my ideas.
Everything’s exciting at this point in your life. You’re young, you have a future, you have friends, and you have family. Nobody can take this away from you. You created it, you can build upon it. Lisztomania. Some things can be embarrassing, somethings can be awkward, but remember this. Treat everyone you meet like you’ve met them before. Their your best friend in that moment, in that specific time. The age old saying: Treat everybody how you would want to be treated. Its true, say it out loud, and believe it. Think less but see it grow. Like a riot.
I’ve been scared to write you for sometime. I don’t know if its the girl, the job, the endless hours of the learning and or possibilities of, or just plain avoidance. It’s been a while blog, and I’m here to explain why, so listen:
Last year at this time, I knew what had to be done, where to go, and what tools I needed to achieve a goal I was set out to perform and complete. I had everything set, I had a routine, I was enrolled in school, a schedule, friends and a title and registration. Its time to get to the point. Whats next you say? My life isn’t set, by any stretch of the imagination. I have yet to know where i’m going to be in 6 months, tho I have an idea, it doesn’t change the fact that tomorrow comes and I still have have no idea what colors socks to wear. In life, sometimes you get overwhelmed, sometimes underwhelmed. Whats easier? Your given all the tools in the world to succeed, your granted with endless inspiration and talent, yet you cant seem to pick up a pen. On the other side, you work twice as hard, because to get there, you know you have to. With the same talent and inspiration, where does this put you? How much harder do you actually have to work?
Right now in life, I feel like im between a train track. One train heading north to a land of unknown, and one train going more and more and even more south, to a land I’ve seen before. Staying safe and sure. I need you so much closer.
Its interesting at night because your able to evaluate the current day. In the morning its a little bit different. Tomorrow I’ll wake up, and for all I know, it could be the best day of my life, could be the worst, but one thing for sure…hope. Nights are different, but very beautiful. Some people come alive, and I believe when you can, use whatever strengths are given to you at that point in time. Tonight I felt like i had to be evaluated. Where am I? What have you done? What is a degree really going to do for you tomorrow? Right now, for all I know, this could be the beginning of the end. But how do you know its not the end you ask? I know its not the end because everything I have asked, hasn’t been answered. Everything’s not okay. Everything’s not perfect. There is so much more to life than this, I can gaurentee you that. You know that. Tonight can sometimes be dark but tonight, for tonight , i’m alive, i’m well, and im interested in you.
If you could bag up everything you had ever done in a suitcase knowing the success and lack there of would be nesseled inside, what would you leave out? What would you leave there sitting on your bed? Just by assumption, most of will you say ‘nothing’ because you know those same successes and failures are what molded you as an individual today. But why? If I were to ask you the same question, but in a different context, i would believe your answer would be different. So Lets try.
If you knew what you knew now, and you could tell your ‘past self’ or half the mindset you have now but somehow transmit it to your 10, 5, 3, year old brain, would you? Would you use that advantage? This question has been asked several times, and I want to know if you REALLY could, would you? There’s something amazing about not knowing anything. All you know is essentially, what you know. At a young age your not meant to know much. You know the air, the smells, the song, the parents and siblings, maybe a friend or two, but that’s it, and to you, that’s all that matters.
In life, just like everything else, is coded by layers. After you finally scratch one away, another, deeper more distressed or challenging layer is awaiting, colder, more experienced, and finding someway to challenge you. The ones that fail are the ones that look at that layer and do nothing about it. The ones that are content with what they have. What they know. I’m not afraid of failure, im afraid of success. This is huge. I want to be the best, it scares me. It truly does. I sometimes feel as if what I have gotten myself into, is bigger than me. Bigger than I could ever imagine. John Lennon imagined. Imagination from Max Bemis is truly inspirational, and I one time made Daily Inspiration on Abduzeedo.
What it comes down to is this, and listen. You don’t know where your heading. You might, there might be some idea, but we’ll pretend there isn’t. When you get there, then what? What then are you going to run from? When is it okay to settle? Who gives this out? Give me one. If you don’t understand what I’m saying, good, this is where you change and I watch. I’m watching to get advice. I’m watching because I don’t know what to do. All I see are dark grey clouds, in the distance, and its growing closer in every hour. Your beautiful, but you don’t mean a thing to me. Tomorrow.
i hear what i want to hear:
Interesting choice of words. Sometimes things slip. You take a deep breath, your throat starts to hurt, your tongue starts to rudder and something you know that is incorrect still happens to run (as fast as it can) out your mouth. Your shocked, but you just said it, and for pride purposes, you now need to back up your ridicules statement, no matter how silly or false it is. That’s how I felt last night. You never know what your getting yourself into, until your actually in it. Once your in it, you cant leave without a compromise. If you try to leave before a compromise is made, an empty feeling is still relevant on both sides. You must complete this argumentation! This conversation is something that was meant out of nothing, and now means everything. You cannot run away from this. It’s your mess, now clean it up.
Most arguments come out of nowhere. No one intends to argue but some people are more argumentative than others. How in the world do you get past that? Is there a training facility near by? IS there secret white pills I don’t know about that make arguments stop in the muck before waking its dirty boots all on the nice clean carpet? These things, I do not know. In fact, im so clueless that in my day (like 5 years ago) this was a form of communication between my brothers and sisters and moms and dads (minus the brothers). Its how i was brought up. Blame it on mom I say, but no one would believe me so I need a better excuse to figure this one out.
I have 2 classes to go after I complete my current situation of a class. Right now, its usability part deux. Remember Usability part 1? Here’s a refesher. If you don’t know what usability for the web means, take a look at twitter for example. You go there for your first time not knowing what twitter is, and instantly you know exactly what it is. Then you sign up, which is also lightning, and boom within 1 minute you have a twitter account and you have already posted your first tweet to all those tweepeople. That’s the point of these classes and why its so important today, especially in today’s hurry up, need things done faster internet world. I love this. Right now the idea is simple. Create an online app. Now, we dont have to program this application (thank god) but we do need to do all the back-end work, create a company, design an identity, create a website, and most of all make sense. My idea is a bit far fetched, but I truly believe its a great idea. I’ll be filling it in as time continues, scouts honor.
First week back at work wasn’t to bad. A lot of Quark work which is never good, but it’s like riding a bike. Its fun going in each day not knowing what to expect, not knowing if the morning before I come in, had a disaster run through. Its interesting when your mind is set on doing a specific project and all of a sudden that’s the last priority and a new one has arrived to the top of the list. Big corporations are so strict with design, its interesting. Everything has to be the exact of the exact for it to be approved. Nothing can ever be a little off, nothing can ever be short changed, everything must fit into place or approval will not occur!
I have a few projects (hopefully) going underway soon. I love freelancing. What’s not to love about it? You get to create your own rules, you do it on your time, and you don’t answer to anyone but yourself. Its theperfectjob and that’s why I got into this industry. Its always very exciting to see how visitors of your website got to your website. This month alone I had many visitors from plattonline, good ol google, but by far the most from stumble! I love when people comment on my work, whether it be good or bad, feedback is golden.
An interesting project is coming up on Saturday. AD2 requested me and a few others to join in a work environment, build their new web page (in wordpress) and be filmed for their upcoming project. They want it done in 3.5 hours, and with the people that we have on this project, I think we can pull it off easily with time to spare.
blog ideas for next blog
-teachers having facebook and tagging former students
-Santa Clause, little kids, and google
-my top 10 cds of 2008
What makes a difference in two months? Lets speculate. In the middle of September I was let go from my internship that was supposed to be for 3 months and barley lasted two. They hired me basically on the spot, and I was excited. I started working right away and everything was so intriguing to me. Even at times, very challenging. I never had worked for a company that was so large, especially since they are on a world wide scale, it sort of got me in a way of thinking, I can do this, I was trained for this, and when the first day came, I killed it.
I finished projects promptly, always on time, sometimes early and when I would finish, I would ask for something else to do. Each day there was something different and new to look forward to.
I was hired to help launch what basically is a micro site for a company that the company I worked for merged with. We finished earlier than expected, and they let me go.
Now, 2 months later, they want me back. This time, for a while longer and this time without the help of the lead web guy. It makes me nervous. I never have been in a situation before where I felt as if, I might be making a mistake by taking a job that was clearly good for experience, resume, and that little thing called money. I feel as if, I might be taking a step backwards. I feel as if, im destine to do great things, and this (even though it was a great experience) might not be on the same level as where I am at currently.
Right now, I want to learn how to cope with decisions that you know are right and sometimes don’t agree with. I want to be happy and excited to walk into work instead of feeling like each step is harder to take than the last to just get inside the door.
What it comes down to is this, I understand what life is all about. I understand you cant get things handed to you, you cant expect things, you need to work hard, pay your dues, and eventually the time will come for you to take hold of a current situation and absolutely kill it.
When it comes to conversations between me and you and you and you, here is a list of things that make me feel uneasy:
I don’t have to explain myself, but I choose to. Its easier to understand people who are open. Some of my best friends haven’t told me anything personal about them. Ever. Me on the other hand, cant keep anything in. If something happens to me in the morning, by mid-day I’m already talking to someone about it. Its not because I want someone to understand or fix my problem, its because it a cleansing mechanism for me. Half of the time when I talk to friends about a problem, I don’t even give them a chance to give me advice. I create my own advice. I speak and speak until there is nothing left to say. Then I take a deep breath and somehow, someway, I feel better and have felt like I have figured out the problem. Sometimes I know the answer to the problem and what I have to do to solve it, yet i still go through this ‘system’ because in the end I always feel better than if I were to just keep it in.
Sometimes I look at my past and I wonder why I haven’t learned. Is that human nature? Stupidity? Is it in my genes? There are times where I am completely shocked of what I say or do in certain situations. Sometimes I step back, look at the situation and ask myself, “why.” The thing that needs to change is this: It reminds of a saying (or word) my dad would say to me when I got into trouble as a youngin. Think. Its as simple as that. Sometimes when your in a heated discussion, or an intense situation, you just ‘say’, or you just ‘do.’ Lately I have forgotten this golden rule, and have found myself looking back and wondering ‘why?’ This is a problem that can be fixed, that’s why its ‘doable’ and realistic to change.
Next blog will cover: For Christmas I want…
Read slow, it wont hurt that way.
Some things on my mind lately in the beginnings of December: Some ideas involve relationships between friends, some involve the idea of love and hope and how it will rescue and restore you from any scope. Read what I have wrote this week, maybe read it twice, either way, once your done reading, think about yourself. What is December to you?
Sometimes your placed into a situation where the outcome is uncertain. People seem to get into situations they have no control over, then complain about how little control they have (Yes, i think i worded that correctly). It’s fascinating to me that people try so hard to get what they want. Once the person has the ‘want’ the ‘want’ becomes more of a problem then if you never had it in the first place. I ask you this: Is it better to have gone through this process, knowing the outcome, then to have not gone through it at all? Would you have felt the same if you didn’t get what you wanted? Would you have felt like you missed out, or would you feel like you have gotten stronger, building your failed tolerance to a bigger and better goal? Is it always good to get what you want? How do you know if something is good, if everything has been given to you? Where is the line drawn? If you never get what you want, you always will wonder. If you always end up with what you want how do you appreciate what you have? How do you know the ‘want’ is what you actually want, until you have it, right there inside your hands? It’s not the ‘want’ that your craving, its the dream, the idea, and the possibilities of the outcome of that ‘want’ that we are starving for…
December does a funny thing to people, me in particular. Maybe its the the time of the year, maybe sub-conciously your thought process is in digestion-mode of the entire year that just made you a person in 2008.That person in 2008.
For some reason, I always smell December. The light in December is beautiful, its extremely vivid and unexpected. When it becomes windy, i don’t get mad. Its not as cold as other months to me. Its more of an identity, its expected. To me, December seems like its wrapping up a story that once was. Everything seems to make sense, and everyone seems to be in love with someone, or something. It’s comforting. It seems like an idle month. I’ll explain: Even tho, its probably the busiest month for shopping, working, and school, it seems like everything slows down. I always embrace this month because there’s so much to appreciate. In San Diego, your winter is December, so enjoy it. December to me was driving in my first car (oh the blue explorer) passing tree after tree with a setting sun, with my sweater on, listening to music, with thoughts about a girl that I loved so much that didn’t love me back (aww.) It was beautiful. No matter how you feel about the holidays, December brings out something in people you cant get 11 months out of the year. It would be cliche to say ‘jolly’ id lean to ‘tolerant’ more than anything. Either way, its clear to my why I feel this way about good ol December. I have countless stories, memories, and thoughts that have come from this month that make me remember why this month is so important to me.
Moving on, I have two weeks left of school before our 10 day break. Wow, 10 days of break, your crazy Platt. We just finished our midterm and now we are onto our final project. I have to create a portfolio website. This scares me. Not the creation of the project, or how that I only have two weeks to sum up my life the past 4 years, but this is proof that school is coming to an end and I need to start thinking about growing up. This breaks my heart. I have three good friends at Platt and a lot of familiar faces I’ve been use to seeing over the past year and a half. One day, and one day soon, I wont be able to see those three friends everyday, anymore. I wont be seeing these fimilar faces anymore. Right now, like other humans, im taking this point-in-time for granted. Why? Why does human nature do this to us. For some reason, I can never appreciate the now, its always too hectic and straight forward. I want to be able to step back and smile for once goddamnit. We always bitch about what the current state of our life is, whether it was high school or Palomar, or whatever, we never actually realize how bad-ass something was until it’s gone. When January starts, time’a starts’a tickin. Whats next for me? More importantly, whats next for us?
December music: Snow Patrol, Copeland, Incubus, Common, The Dear Hunter, Forgive Durden, Sufjan Stevens.
Conclude me: I’ve looked at some old photoshop and illustrator work of mine. It makes me laugh. I was good, don’t get me wrong, its just funny how far I’ve come in such little time. I always get in a debate with this girl about what has been done, not done, whats used, and overused. Its funny because some of the styles I was doing then, 2-3 years ago was really cool and hip to me and other designers at that time. These styles are finally getting popular to our retarded mainstream audience now and when I look at them I go ‘ew.’ This made me think of a question: Who’s in the wrong, me or the mainstream population? If i thought something was cool 2 years ago that clearly wasn’t then and is now, and i think its not cool now, yet that’s whats selling, who’s the idiot? Sometimes its good to conform and this could be a solid example.
Spoiled little L.A. girl, your just an L.A. girl. There have been a lot of things on my mind. Some people like to avoid thinking in depth to solve a problem that they have been avoiding, im opposite. I throw it all out on the table with the rest of the dinner and analyze it before i eat. How do you tell someone to step up, or step down? When is it the right time to do the right thing? Everyone has different views on everything, so how do you share a view, with an opposite view, without a catapulting an argument? Sometimes I want to say how I feel, and do what I feel is right, but things hold me back, its normal. This is where I need to look at a situation, grow some balls, and say what is on my mind no matter what the outcome might be. Godspeed.
So this is my cue of where to leave you. Now it’s your story to retell and pass on.
Because an idea is only relevant if it’s being thought upon.
So remember, never surrender. Cause the unrelenting constancy of love and hope will rescue and restore you from any scope.
Oh gosh, holidays. Sometimes I don’t know how i feel about you people. They come too quick, and they leave even quicker. There slutty. Whats the slutt’ish holiday you ask? Well to break them down here are the top 3 slutty holidays: Starting from 3:
So thats Holidays in a nuttshell. Lets move on.
Joe: Well my roomate Joe is gone, so we got someone to replace him. He calls himself Luis, but Ill need to see a birth cirtificate to believe him. He seems like a mellow, easy-going guy, so I’m pretty sure it’s going to work out. Kyle switched his room to Joe’s old room so Luis is now next to me. Its none of his goddamn business what kind of sexual situations I do in here, and I put a caution sign on my door that says just that. So far I’ve caught him peeking in on me taking a shower. Just kidding, it’s the other way around ;-)
In all seriousness, it’s going to be a nice change. We are finally able to live back in our apartment the way it was intended to. Its clean, it doesnt smell, and it feels like home again. I love it. The next thing on the agenda is keeping it this way. We’re all adults here, i dont think it will be hard to do.
Since its the holidays, check out The Rocket Summer - Chirstmas Song. Terrific happy song.
My top 2 of my favorite stories/links today on digg:
Oh comment systems
5th Grade Ruled
Whats on ur christmas list? I know what I want. Stay tuned till next week to find out!
Music: It’s been a slow week for music. I got a few more new Kanye songs (yes every song is auto-tuned) I still have been listening to Copelands new one, Forgive Durden’s, and get this: Blink 182’s - self titled. Such an epic cd. Man, blink was on the right track. They were so close to becoming our-generations nirvana, zeppelin, U2, Beatles. Okay maybe not the Beatles, but you get the idea. I know all you haters would say Im crazy, and maybe I am, but you cant hide the fact that they knew how to write music and write it well. They sold records a zillion records and no matter which record you bought from them and got you ‘into’ them, at one point or another, you were a fan of Blink 182.
Chargers: It gets worse every week. The only way to explain this year is to say that this is an ‘odd year’ and that’s an understatement. For the first time in 7 years I have felt nothing whether we win or loose. It doesn’t feel right. It doesn’t feel like our year. Maybe im not the only one who feels this way.
Work: I finished the law firm website “BLG” last week. It still needs some tweaks and added content, but everything is there for the most part:
This is interesting. I got a call from my internship of the summer today. They want me back part-time. I haven’t made a decision yet, $25 an hour is tough to pass up though.
School: Last week was a mess. What a fucking headache that piece of shit was. Wait a minute, take a deep breath, take a step back, and minimize your swear words peter because that isn’t helping anyone, anywhere, at anytime. Back to the future.
So what happened was this. 2 weeks ago I got a new ride. Its a grandma-beige-color from circa ‘96 Jeep that I got for free from dad (FTW) because he saw how frustrated I was getting with my current beast of a car. The Truck. The best thing to do was try and sell my truck (which I did) and cruz around in this bad mother for a while until I graduate. All things gravy right? Right! So the last two weeks i’ve been feeling out the road, wearing a lot of hats because i want people to know its a young adult driving rather than a creepy 40-year-old who liks to Bowl for fun on Friday’s. I’m getting off track so lets jump back on the rail here. At this point I was 3 weeks deep into mt last class ‘web campaign” and everything started getting pretty serious since we only had 2 weeks left.
The purpose of web campaign is to create a company (that is picked out of a hat) from the ground up. From what they sell, logo, slogan, who their clients are, what age they are, the content on the site, the look, the color, the location, the EVERYTHING. So basically you have 2 weeks to plan everything and 3 weeks to design a web site and code it all in XHTML and CSS. I wasn’t sweating, i never do. Back to week 3. My computer crashes, all I see is a black screen and it wont boot up. My motherboard pretty much took a shit right on top of my chest and then smeared it on my face while laughing at me and screaming “loser, loser, peter has shit on a face, what a loser!” I was upset.
I bring it in the next day, and a week later I get it back. At this point im a week behind everyone else needing to catch up and work pretty much 2 weeks in 1 week just to finish. Last Monday was when I got my comp back, and Wednesday my final was due. I was still in the development phase. That means, I still had to finish my design before I could start production which was coding the site. Monday I knocked out the design and I spent 18 hours on Tuesday to get my site turned in on Wednesday at 8 am. That shit right there, was pretty intense.
I got the ‘IT, network, wireless’ company, so i decided to run with it. I created a company called Innoware which basically specializes in wireless and ‘4g’ cards for your laptop. I wanted to do something that I haven’t seen or heard of before. I wanted to make this company, a ‘hip’ company. I wanted people to WANT to have this product based on the ‘coolness’ factor of it. Instead of a 60 year old CEO of AT&T making the decisions I wanted the decisions being left up to a smart 20 year old kid and see where that would take us. I think I did a pretty good job, so check it out:
I started a new class Friday. We have like 4 sites a week to do. We had to do a simple 1 page menu, I chose Stone Brewing. I just finished (it took me like 45 minutes to design and code)
Lets start out and say a few things I’ve been thinking about:
We’ll start with music, run over and check out life at school, a brief movie/tv segment, then we will conclude with a brief thought about myself.
School: Schools a trip. Right now im in a web development class which basically is what it sounds like. Our objective is to create a web site with flawless usability and simplicity. This is why Im stuck. Most of you know that I’m neither of these things. I can be, I just dont like to stick to the bare minmimun even if it turns out killer. I have a layout that my teach and class like, but I have an idea that I like. For some reason I cant intertwine both of them together right now to make it work on how I’m envisioning it. Last monday, we started coding the website. But me, Peter Nudo, haven’t even got the design portion done (as usual). This is how I work though. Is it effective? Nope, is it efficient? Napes. But this is how I work. This is what gets my ‘grease lightning (o’gawthatwasgay). I like feeling the pressure of crunch time, I work better, and I feel as if I have nothing to loose. Some people strive off of that, and I’m one of those fucking retards.
As for the class itself. I love our teacher, but some days, I want to punch him in the face. Sometimes I feel like hes more ready than I am that day and that makes me feel out of place. I dont understand how everyday, people can take the same approach as the pervious. Its a new day, how is that possible? Emotions, feelings, and events are different from day to day. How can you be so machine-like to be on point everyday, and lecture these goddamn kids the same redundant thing you have lectured time after time. Im in class and sometimes I cant handle it. I just don’t want to be there. Some of you might ask yourself, ‘well than just dont pay attention’ and ‘go on the internet’ its weird to say this, but some days, I just dont feel like it. Its weird. Because literally I couldnt ask for a better major, school, class to go through but somehow someway, i’ll always find a way to bitch about it.
Movies/TV: I recently have seen infinite playlist, nick and nora style, and realized I really liked it. Rushmore is still killer as usual. Stella is flawless. Its Always Sunny has not lost a step. Still loving week after week. But the biggest surprise for me this year has been Entourage. I’ve have been so negative about this upcoming season, saying how its the same bullshit week after week, but this season, seems to be different. I look foward to each week, and take back everything I’ve told you all.
Chargers: Bye week this week, but I have a feeling, if there wasn’t one, we would have lost.
Me: There’s been a lot going on with me, come to think about it, im sure theres been a lot going on with everyone. In life, an opportunity is all you can ask for. Life presented me with an opportunity and I’ve been running with it. Ive been fucking sprinting, yet I stride. This opportunity, lets call it a challenge. Lets call it a comeback. With opportunities come baggage. Not luggage, but baggage. A step to routine, a smile with a smell, a laugh with a look. I can’t complain. I’m excited. I’m always open to try new things and right now I found something new. I can’t help that I sound like a total tool, or a invested fool, but for me, right now, I’m happy, I’m cool.
Turn it up a notch.
My brain has been thinking, and it has decided that weeks have started to become more interesting as the magic of time continues… Rewind 5 years: I remember I would live life somewhat unconventionally. I tried my darnedest (yes! my DARNDEST!) not to conform(sotypicalIknow), to always be ready for whatever somebody wanted to do, I never wanted to miss out and have to listen to that story the following Monday. I wanted to be in that story. At that time, that’s what was happening. In other words, it was that “i dont give a shit attitude”, that “fuck you” that really ignited my flame thrower. Lately, I have found more structure in my weeks. On purpose. I try my best everyday and try not to let time slip away.
There’s too much to do. Too much to say. Too much play. Right now, im tired as shit yet i strapped on my blog helmet, jumped into the blog cannon, shot off to Blogland where blogs grow on bloggies. I want to take every oppurtunity I can and run with it. I dont want to look back and regret. I’m only getting older and I cant make up for lost time. I wont.
Right now, I look at my friends simply as a progressive midterm summer school grade.
Id say, out of everyone I have been close with the past 7-8 years, our summer school grade collectively (with the curve of course) would be a B+. Im pretty proud of everyone. We all sort of understand whats at stake (outback!!) and what needs to be done to move foward and wear new clothes. Right now, were all at midterm grades. What does that mean you ask? well your dumb, and so ill explain:
Imagine john lennon. No, imagine a hot sunny summer day. Its early, your itchy, and your upset. Why? Because your walking to Mr. Cortez’s Spanish 3-4 class in the middle of fucking summer when everyone else isnt a loser. Anyways, long story short, you hate summer school but your going to get ahead, not fall behind, and make sure you get into college. It was your choice to go to summer school. You didnt have to in all reality, but out of the goodness of your heart, you sat mom and dad down, and said “look mom and dad, i want to do this summer school whether you like it or not.” And so you did. You did summer school. That next year felt better with that under your belt, you are now in spanish 5-6. And so on…
What I’m getting at is this. Life is clearly a choice. After highschool we all fucked around (DONT LIE) but we all buckled down, looked life right in the eye and said ‘fuck you’ and the *sighed and said “…okay……fine.”
I could easily have loser friends, but I dont. I can go down the list and name each one of my friends and a goal they want to achieve. Thats fucking epic. I’m not saying all my friends need a plan, or you need a plan, but its just an interesting thought I was thinking while the power was out during the disastrous charger game/season this past sunday.This is a good time for a quote:
“Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your
life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they
wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year
olds I know still don’t.” - Baz Luhrmann
To wrap up such a spiel, I will end it with some advice